Become better parenting partners after a divorce

Some divorced couples manage to get along better as co-parents than they ever did as partners. One social psychologist helps her clients resolve parenting issues so they are able to focus on building stable futures, for their children and themselves.

Given the need to communicate, the expectations of the manner and frequency of contact matter a great deal. Younger children will need facilitated communication and close coordination of activities. Older kids, not so much.

The holidays, events with family members and academic and extra-curricular activities will sometimes place both parents in the same place together. Learning how to civilly interact and remain detached from past hostilities will keep it pleasant for all.

It’s important to commit to making only positive or at least neutral comments about and toward your ex whenever the children or others are present. You don’t want to upset the kids or teach them that belittling others is okay.

Finding a way to get past your anger at the dissolution of your marriage and/or your partner’s bad behaviours is paramount if you want your children to grow up in as nurturing an environment as possible. You and your ex can work with your family lawyers to devise a parenting plan that takes into account the specific needs and circumstances of your children.

Sometimes it’s too difficult to move on from the anger and some parents get stuck there. If this is hindering your progress toward a new future, ask your lawyer if he or she can recommend a counselor whom you can see for a short time to help you sort out your emotions in a more productive way.

Source: The Huffington Post Canada, “Marriages Dissolve, But Parenting Partnerships Are ‘to Death Do Us Part’ — What Type of Parenting Partners Are You?,” Dr. Jamie Williamson, accessed Aug. 05, 2016

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